One of the best things about our journey as KCs parents has been the joys she’s brought us over small victories that we’ve taken for granted in the past. It was a tough day when our OB said “guys, I’m not going to sugar coat this, things are really bad now and you need to prepare for that and think hard about your feelings on resuscitation and such.” Then, we had our KC and all hope was restored. Then, two days later, I was discharged from the hospital and it was time to go home and be parents to our big girls only KC wouldn’t be joining us. My heart hurt that day. I knew the drill. You have a baby, you spend 1-2 days at the hospital recovering and then you all drive home together as one big happy family. In our last go round, Sydney cried and AK loudly shushed her all way home. This, however, was not how it goes. This was something unnatural. You don’t drive off without your newborn, that you’ve spent months praying for, in the care complete strangers. You are definitely NOT supposed to leave empty handed after all of that work. Maybe the worst part was how selfish and ungrateful I felt for not just simply being thankful she was alive and well. I cried. I cried a lot for the entire ride home. I sobbed ugly, nasty tear and Reed let me. He didn’t say a word. He just held my hand and let me cry. I’m so thankful for that moment with him. As I got home and got to love on my big girls that I’d missed so much the focus shifted and our minds moved into survival mode. We spent the next 45 days following a detailed schedule that had someone with KC all but a few hours over night and a parent or grandparent with the big girls at all times. November 15th, 2012 we finally brought our sweet baby home (along with a small noisy monitor and giant oxygen tank) but we did NOT care! She was ours and we finally got to have the proud, joyous ride home with our new baby. We got to sit on OUR couch in OUR home and take that first family picture. I realized that day how amazingly blessed we were to have had two healthy, typical pregnancies and I also finally realized that it was ok that I’d felt so sad the day we drove home without her because it made the celebration of her homecoming so much sweet and gave me a new, beautiful appreciation for the blessing of her life.