I remember when we were pregnant with our first child and I absolutely couldn’t wait to find out the sex of our baby. The anticipation almost got to me before the day finally arrived. I was certain that I’b never been more more anxious before in my life. I was also sure that I would calm down once we knew the answer. Once we finally reached that precious day and learned the sex of our first child, I did calm down…for about 30 seconds. My thoughts then moved to naming our sweet girl and soon after I was obnoxiously impatient to put a face to the name. We spent too much money too see 3D images of our girl which really didn’t give me any better idea of what she’d actually look like. The truth was, like most everyone else, in 40 weeks I had all Of the answered to my long awaited questions about who this mystery person was and then even quicker she had a little personality of her own to go along with it.
The second time around I was equally as excited and impatient to hear the news, boy or girl, and to see our second daughters sweet face but I managed to pass on the the expensive extra images and wait a little more patiently for her entrance to the world.
The third time however, we received additional information with our gender ultra sound, one of those extra pieces included the diagnosis of an extra copy of the 21st chromosome. I whipped out Google faster than I can even say Down syndrome to find out what to expect. I read and read and read over the next few months. It makes sense, you should know what you’re getting into…preparedness, right?
To be clear, I loved her with my whole heart already but After all of my research, I knew exactly what and who I was expecting. I’d spent months reading the same bits of information just reworded a million times; we were having a floppy limbed, flat nosed baby with almond eyes, a protruding tongue, curvy fingers with a straight line across her hand and a tiny little neck. She wouldn’t be able to speak to us very well if at all. She probably wouldn’t walk for a very long time and she would likely be pretty delayed in just about every area imaginable. Right? WRONG! I could list all of the specific ways that KC and many others we now know with that extra awesome chromosome prove that so called research wrong but instead I’ll say this; when I think about what would come up if I googled “what to expect with my typical daughters” the answer is that I’d still have no idea what they’d turn out looking like. I’d still have no idea that one would have beautiful, hazel, almond eyes, an incredible love of learning and an insanely, unimaginable memory. I’d have no way of knowing that our other little girl would be able to make me laugh every time she opened her cute little mouth (especially when she’s supposed to be in trouble) or that her big brown eyes would sparkle back when the mostly girl, princessy dress you’ve ever seen is held up in front her. Just like I would’ve never found on Google that our KCs presence would instantly inspire us or that she’d love baby dolls, tea parties and batman with her whole heart. Or that her sweet little voice would be one of my favorite sounds, especially when she’s standing under my feet in the kitchen singing “guacamole, guacamole.” I had no way of knowing until I met her that her extra chromosome would be the farthest thought in my mind when I look at her contagious smile.
The fact is that You can’t google who your kid is going be, only experiencing them each and every day will show you. I’ve learned that Extra chromosomes or not, they’ll be an amazing little person that rocks your world from the first moment you hold them. They will own you the first time they look into your eyes and you see all of the potential in the face of the incredible, unique features that you and your partner combined to create this amazing little person.
If you’re one of the lucky few that gets a little extra to love, you’ll be honored and humbled by all of the opportunities you have now inherited to prove all of the incorrect, repetitive, biased articles that you come across when you take to google to research this new diagnosis. I wish that the first thing everyone with this diagnosis read was this: Congratulations on your uniquely perfect gift!